Things have been getting hectic around here and all I can say is thank goodness for my mom and sister! They have both jumped in to make sure I have the emotional support I need while preparing for the adoption and the big move. Poor Jeff is studying like crazy for boards and can't think of anything else. I on the other hand am doing all of the worrying for the both of us! I really shouldn't be so dramatic, things are going really well!
We recently found out that we will be the parents of a bouncing baby boy. We couldn't be more excited to add a little boy to our family. We were lucky enough to go to the 20 week ultra sound and be a part of the big reveal. Being a part of an adoption from the first trimester is rare so I didn't really know what to expect with the pregnancy. Our birth family has wrapped their arms around us and invited us to be a part of every stage in the pregnancy. Our birth mother asked us to go to the ultra sound so we could be there to find out the sex of the baby. In her words, "it's going to be your baby so I want you to be there". She is so thoughtful and selfless. I often find myself stopping throughout the day to just honor her and her spirit. I often feel guilty because she is giving me so much happiness and in return she feels sadness. I know she is making this decision for the future of her child, but I wish I could take her sadness away and make all of her dreams come true. She has told me that this pregnancy has motivated her to get her life on track and become successful. She is one determined woman and I know she will.
Our trip to the ultra sound was so exciting! We couldn't wait to meet this remarkable woman and her boyfriend. We were so excited to meet them that we couldn't fit in the emotion of finding out the sex of the baby. Your mind can only process so much! When we pulled into the parking lot, we immediately spotted them in their car. We walked straight up to them and gave them both big hugs. She is as cute as a button! 5'6 with bright green eyes and auburn hair. He is 6' with deep blue eyes and brown curly hair. He is in an 80's band and has the big hair to show for it! He is very proud of it and wears it well. It makes me smile :) Everyone was nervous, but the conversation flowed freely. She immediately starting talking about the baby being ours and kept asking us if we were excited. I really think our excitement makes her feel like she is doing a good thing. We found things out about her like that she loves the color orange. She is an only child and very close with her grandma. She loves animals and has a ferret as a pet. She played sports in high school. She wants to be a vet tech. She just started college and is very proud to be going. She found out about her pregnancy early enough to get an abortion. She never considered keeping the baby and she never considered an abortion. She always knew she wanted to give it up for adoption. She knew there was a family that she could help. She does not have a lot of support about her decision so our excitement makes her feel better about her decision. The birth father was really chatty. He is earning a degree in liberal arts. He is really smart but not excited about the responsibilities that come with school. The thing that motivates him the most is playing music. He has a younger brother.
The ultrasound was an almost out of body experience. There were so many emotions involved. We got to see our baby and watch him kick! I had to keep reminding myself that this was our baby. The birth mother kept asking us if we were excited. We were so excited but nervous as to how much excitement to show. Would our excitement make her sad? Her grandma was also in the room and was emotional about seeing the baby. She was trying so hard to be strong for the birth mother, but was so sad about not being a part of the baby's life. I didn't know how to react. Do I act excited for the birth mother or console the grandma? Was the birthmother sad or happy? I couldn't really feel my own emotion because I was so concerned about their emotions. Jeff squeezing my hand is probably what kept me from crying. The birthmother was really excited that it was a boy because he would be the fourth generation on her dad's side of the family. We got our own DVD to take home with pictures of the baby. I am so glad because I was able to watch it at home and really bond with the baby without feeling so overwhelmed.
After the appointment we all went out to dinner. The birth family is absolutely delightful. They are funny and sweet with huge plans for the future. They want to travel and be successful and experience life as a teenager. I know that God will bless them for their decision to give their baby up for adoption. I pray their hearts are filled with peace as they await the birth of the baby and their bright futures give them hope. She is now 29 weeks and adorable! We can't wait to meet you little buddy. Evan Ryan Sparks.... You are my dream come true.
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