Jeff and I have been very busy getting ready for our next adoption. We have been pretty bold this time by hoping to get a match in a three month window. We thought it would be great to be matched with a birth mother in June or July while we are still living in Missouri and Jeff is still in his current job. We were ready to wait longer this time but hoped for the best. If we were not matched before we moved, we would have to get another home study completed in Illinois and get off the match list until it was completed (about 3 months). Our window was small, but we were hopeful.
About 10 days ago, Jeff and I decided to go to church with his family at Fellowship Baptist. Nothing makes his Dad happier and it had been over 6 months since we had visited the church. As we were leaving, Pastor Larry told us that a lady had been in his office that week looking for an adoptive family for a family member. He asked if we were interested. We are always interested! We enthusiastically asked him to follow up on the situation and get back to us. I left the church shaking. I get extremely emotional about these kind of situations. I was so excited to have a lead but was trying to keep myself calm. I knew from experience it would be days before we heard back and then weeks before it started moving forward. That is, if she hadn't already picked someone else! It is so hard to want something so badly and then wait.
The next week, Pastor Larry introduced Jeff's parents to the lady seeking the adoptive family for her great niece. She was really excited about getting us in contact with her and thought we were an "answered prayer" for her niece. Jeff's parents gave her our contact information. She called us that afternoon! We couldn't believe we were able to talk to someone so quickly! She told us that her great niece was about 15 weeks pregnant and sure that she wanted to give the baby us for adoption. She was going to try to have her doctor find an adoptive family, but her mom thought they could find a Christian home for the baby. She was already enrolled for college in the fall and was not financially or emotionally ready to raise a baby. We were fully invested at that point, and prayed that she had not already chosen a family for her baby. The great aunt said she would try and contact her niece and then get back to us. We hugged each other and tried to stay calm. We were prepared to wait for weeks.
Jeff left for Springfield for work and I went to spend some time at my sister's house. As we were leaving Jeff called. I figured he wanted to chat on his drive and told him I would call him right back because I was getting Violet into the car. He said, "please hurry!". He scared me to death. I thought something was really wrong.
"Are you okay?" I kind of screamed.
"Yes," he said, "but I just talked to the birth mother!"
I ran upstairs into Ty's room and where he unfolded the story. He said he was driving down the interstate and the great aunt called and said she just talked to the birth mother. The birth mother was on her way home from work and wanted to talk to us immediately! Jeff pulled his truck over and called her without much time to think or prepare. Their conversation was incredible. I'm going to tell you some of the things she said so you can see how nice and selfless she is. She was grateful to find a family that was interested in her baby. She said her great aunt told her about our family and that was really all she needed to know. She said she definitely wanted to give the baby up for adoption but didn't really know how. Her only real question was if she needed a lawyer and if so how much money it would cost her. She also said that she would like to meet us and was willing to meet us half way. Her mind set was very much of what could she do for us.
Jeff tried his best to explain to her that she was making our dreams come true. We would come to her. We would take care of all her legal needs and find her a social worker to make sure the adoption plan is exactly how she wants it. He said she was really easy to talk to and handled herself very well in what we call a very stressful situation. We felt like she was relieved to find a family who wanted her baby. Inside I was worried that she would find an agency and then see that she could choose from the hundreds of families who would love to raise her baby.
That night my mind was racing! I was so excited, yet so worried. We were matched! Yet it happened so differently than last time. I missed having the security of the agency assuring me of what was happening. I felt weird because I didn't get to talk to her. I didn't have a connection with the person that trusted me enough to give me her baby. Jeff was sure that she was committed to adoption. I believed him but couldn't feel it.
We still wanted to continue the adoption through American Adoptions. We hoped that they could manage our case from this point on. We just wouldn't be put on the match list. We found out that they were not licensed in Iowa (where the birth mom lives) and could not help us. I ended up finding a fantastic social worker who will provide all the services for the birth mom and basically help her through the whole process. I felt like finding the social worker was a good reason for me to call the birth mom. I wanted more than anything to talk to her.
I called her that night and was surprised to talk to such a poised young woman. She went on and on about being excited to find Jeff and I. She invited us to her next doctor appointment so we could see the ultra sound and find out if the baby is a boy or girl! She said she hoped it was a boy so she could complete our family. She has such a loving heart. Being there to see an ultrasound means more to Jeff and I than words can explain. That is something I had come to peace with not ever experiencing. She is inviting us to be a part of this pregnancy. A blessing on top of a blessing.
We ended up exchanging e-mails and pictures of each other that night. She and her boyfriend are adorable. I can tell she love him very much by the way she speaks of him. She says he supports her every decision.
This entire process has unfolded in 10 days. God has definitely had his hand on it. We decided to randomly go to church with his parents the same week the great aunt asked him about adoptive families. The social worker's name is Robyn Shelby. The two people that I became closest with in saint Louis were Robyn and Shelby. The birth mother's middle and last names are Jean Barnes. My middle and maiden names are Jeanne Barnes. Jeanne is pronounced Jean. With our first adoption, we had decided to use the middle name Marie. We then found out that our birth mother's middle name was Marie. With this adoption, we had decided to use the middle name Jeanne if it is a girl, the birth mother's middle name is Jean. This is what I like to call Divine Intervention! I feel like God is giving me signs saying that this adoption is the right thing to do. This baby is meant to be a part of our family. We have 6 more months until the due date which is a long time for a birth mother to commit to an adoption. We need your prayers. Please pray for peace for the birth mother. Peace with her decision of adoption and peace of mind in choosing us for the adoptive family. Please pray for our family to have patience with the adoption process and the faith that it is going to be successful.
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