I don't even know where to begin.... 6 weeks ago our lives changed forever. Evan Ryan Sparks was born and became a part of family. He has filled my days and nights with joy and peace. He is the sweetest, calmest baby I have ever seen. He has a go with flow personality, but nothing makes him happier than to just slow down and snuggle. He wiggles under your chin and tries to get as close to you as he possibly can. When he is eating, he will often stop and just stare into your eyes. He coos and sings and just this week started smiling! Nothing melts my heart like a babies first smile. He smiles so big that his eyes close! His big sister loves him with her heart and soul. She can't get enough of him! We have to watch her so she doesn't hug him too tight or too close :) She is drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I was sure the baby love would wear off by now, but if anything she wants me to leave the baby alone so she can have a turn. Here is our journey...
On June 26, our birth mother went in for her last appointment before her induction date. They decided to strip her membranes to help speed up labor. We were sure she was going into labor that night because that is what happened with our first birth mother. We had the car packed, cameras charged, and suitcases loaded. We didn't hear anything on Wednesday. We were trying to prepare ourselves to wait until the induction date. She called on Thursday evening in severe back pain and thought she was going into back labor. We encouraged her to go to the hospital to get checked out and put Violet to bed thinking we were leaving that night. We sent Violet to my sister's house to spend the night just in case. We decided to wait for the phone call that she was in labor, but my Mom and Rick couldn't wait! They got in the car that night and drove to Iowa City just in case. Mom has a 6th sense about these things. The birth mom was sent home with the idea that she was in early labor. We picked Violet up the next morning and tried to live our lives as normally as possible, trying to savor those last moments with her as the only child. Mom and Rick decided to wait it out in Iowa City. :) Friday evening Birth mom called again saying she was going back to hospital and wasn't leaving until she delivered the baby! We painfully waited for the call from her with the plan from the doctor. The poor girl was sent home again with meds for her back. They also stripped her membranes again hoping to induce labor without medication. At this point we were convinced that we would have to wait until the induction date. We told Mom to come home and decided to "take the night off" meaning we didn't repack our car or suitcases like we normally did. We took Violet to the farm to play in the creek and then rented a movie when she went to bed. It was about 30 minutes into the movie that we got "the call". Her water broke! This was it, for real! Tiffany rushed to our house and spent the night with her kids so we didn't have to wake Violet. I have and amazing sister. Mom and Rick had just hit Green Top when we told them the news, (15 minutes from home). They refilled their coffee and then turned around and headed back to Iowa City, (I have amazing parents). We left town at about 10:00 and arrived in Iowa City at about 12:30. That car ride is so exciting and intense. It is two hours of "How do you think she is doing?" "Do you think it will go fast?" "Will we make it in time?"
When we arrived at the hospital we were welcomed by the nurses and ushered straight into her room. She was resting peacefully with her Grandma and boyfriend for company. They were so excited to see us and encouraged us to stay in their room all night if we wanted! From the beginning, the birth family treated the baby as if he were ours. We were glad to be a part of the labor, from the start, but knew that she needed some sleep and privacy. We rented a room in the hospital to sleep in and went to the waiting room to wait for some news. It wasn't long until the birth father came to check on us. He sat down and talked to us until 3:30 in the morning! He had us all laughing until we cried when what could have been a really stressful night. We learned all about his band and crazy stories from his high school years. I will cherish those moments with him forever. I am so glad I have those stories to tell Evan. If anyone knows me well, they know that I do not stay up late well. My eyes just don't stay open. Mom is the same way, but she carried the conversation with birth father until 3:30 in the morning. I am so glad she was there for support. I needed her more than I ever dreamed.
Birth father went back to check on birth mother and we finally fell asleep in the waiting room. At 5:00 the doctor woke us up to give us an update before she left town. Birth mother was dialated 5 and starting to progress after a night of no progress. She thought she was going to have to do a c section, but was relieved to see some progress. This little act waking us up to give us an update meant the world to us. The whole hospital staff was treating us as if Evan was our baby. We were elated and shocked. Our experience with Violet was much different. The new doctor came to get us when it was time for her to start pushing. She asked us to stand in the hallway while they taught the birth mother how to push. We were sitting outside the door when they were giving her the first instructions when she said, "wait! the birth parents aren't here! They are supposed to be here!" Jeff and I just stared at each other. Once again, we couldn't believe how selfless this young woman was. Once again, she was thinking about us. We were preparing ourselves not to be in the delivery room since plans change on a dime in an adoption. They reassured her that we would be there and that it takes a few pushes to get the baby out. Fifteen minutes later, they told us it was time and walked into the delivery room and stood behind a curtain. Evan Ryan Sparks was born weighing 7 lbs 1 oz and was 21 inches long. Birth mother asked to look at him and then said that he was to go behind the curtain with us to be weighed and cleaned up. We will be forever grateful for her generosity. Evan got to hold my finger while they checked out his lungs and put goop in his eyes. I was the first person to hold him. We were his parents. Birth family got some time with the baby and then they took him to the nursery to check other things. They quickly decided that he wasn't getting enough oxygen so they started giving him oxygen. Things didn't improve as quickly as they wanted and birth mother was Strep B positive so he had to stay in the NICU for the next 24 hours with oxygen and many many shots. Strep B positive means he had the potential to develop pneumonia, so the shots were precautionary. The NICU was a kink in our plan. Not only were we scared for Evan's health, the birth mother was planning on spending a lot of time with him with her friends and family. Only immediate family members can be in the NICU so her friends and family couldn't come until Evan improved. She decided to go home that night and come back with her family and friends when he was better. We never left the NICU. Either Jeff and I or Mom and Rick were there to hold Evan or talk to him. The nursing staff was amazing and made us feel so welcome. Evan left the NICU the next day at 4:00 and by 4:30 birthfamily started coming in shifts to celebrate Evan. Most family members were excited to see him and meet us. They loved on him for 4 hours. We were so glad to meet the family and put faces with names. We got lots of pictures and gained many more stories for Evan. At 8:30, The birth parent's close friends came to visit. The mood in the room was that of a true celebration. They were truly happy for the birth parents and proud of their decision. We stood in the hallway for a lot of their visit but smiled as laughter filled the halls. It is just what they needed. Saying goodbye is the hardest thing I have ever been a part of.
We left the hospital the next afternoon and headed to a hotel in Iowa. We stayed for 19 days as we waited for ICPC to be approved. Being away from Violet was excruciating. She was having a blast with her grandparents and cousins, but we couldn't stand to be away from her. After a week we couldn't stand it any longer and had her come stay with us. The moment we were reunited is a moment I will never forget. She came racing down the sidewalk to us with her arms out and her pigtails bouncing. We hugged and spun in circles for a long time. She was so excited to meet her little brother whom she knew nothing about until she was almost to our hotel. Surprise! We stayed in a suite in bloomfield Iowa. It was clean with a bedroom and refrigerator. The staff knew us well and didn't mind for Violet to roam the halls. They even let us blow up a pool in the back! I love small towns. Violet adjusted relatively well. She took a bath in a blowup tub in the shower and played with her Minnies for hours on end. We were glad to be all together. Friends from home heard we were in Bloomfield and gave us a key to their cabin so Jeff and Violet could go play. We found an awesome park and spent a lot of time at the public pool. We were making the most of our family time but couldn't wait to get home.
We called our friends in Jeff City on Friday, day 16 and asked if they could find out about our paperwork. They told us it was in a pile but they would see what they could do. Monday, day 19 we got the call at 10:00 in the morning that we were free to go home. Thank you Mack family for your help! We packed up and headed home. 4 days later we moved to Macomb! New baby, new house, new job. Blessings blessing blessings.
When I hear about adoption stories, my heart melts. Adoption has given me my dream, a loving family full of children. Adoptions are full of rules and regulations and many hoops to jump through, but when you boil it down, adoption is love. Birthparents who love their child enough to look for a loving stable home. Adoptive parents who want so badly to love a child. I have a necklace that I wear to remember the birth mother that says many hearts, one beat. It symbolizes all the people that work together to love Evan. Evan is a bright light in our lives. His laughter fills my heart with joy. He is an angel straight from Heaven sent to make people smile. We love you little Buddy!
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| Welcome to the world Evan Ryan Sparks |
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| Filled with joy |
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| Getting stronger in the NICU |
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| Feeling much better |
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| ready to meet the birth family |
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| Just adorable! |
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| Ready to leave the hospital |
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| Meeting Violet for the first time |
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| So excited to be a big sister! |
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| Yeah!!!!!!! She can't believe it! |
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| Family of 4 |
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| Bath time in a blow up tub. She thought it was great! |
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| blowing off steam in the hotel |
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| Family photos taken in the hotel. Lissy Early you are a saint. The background is the headboard of the bed. |
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| Friends forever |
